As Is.

I found some random writings on my laptop while cleaning up some documents. These writings were written on my way to Amazing Company on the bus. Read it at your own risk, you will bump into many interesting/uninteresting things about me which you may or may not want to know.

The writings are AS IS, and reflect some of my very "coherent" thought process early in the morning which i tried to capture in words..[lol].

Today I realized that its easy to take out my laptop and work as I travel in the bus. In order to get used to this, first I plan to write some random article, mostly about how I spent the day or I plan to spend the day. Some articles will focus on my behavior, the changes I have gone thru or the problems I face. Some of them will be mere observations. As you see, all the articles will totally be about me or from my perspective, if they make amusing readings for you, I will be glad, in that case drop me a line. Thnx for reading.

Day 1:

Food is one of the most important aspect of one’s life. Today I had “good” breakfast, from generic standard it wasn’t really a breakfast but since I haven’t had a breakfast in past many months this felt good. With a full stomach one can think and focus. New ideas come to one’s mind, one feel more composed and at peace. I have decided to have good food and praise the food that I eat. For no reason I have been cribbing about the Café food at my company. Its not that bad, infact it was one of the good things I noticed during the interview process.

In a few mins I am going to see the doctor. This will probably the first, yeah it is the first visit to doctor in USA. Its strange, I have not seen a doctor for past 3 years at all and still living and kicking. I have suffered a great pain of common cough and cold, and various other health problems, but I never went to a doctor. I wonder why, I am little nervous but I am looking forward to meet her. I hope I get the required treatment.

Behavoirial changes:

I have never felt jealousy, but these days I have started noticing this in my behavior. I also use to respect every single person I met. These days I noticed that I barely have respect for others, unless they prove it. I also don’t care at all about others. These days it is always “give and take”. I always ask myself a question what’s in it for me. 99% of the time I don’t find anything significant for me, this further leads to frustration as even though there is nothing in it for me I have to continue.

I need to work on this.

I also feel that I am extremely stressed, especially because of buying the car, is it because of buying the car, or because of the work, or because of what I don’t know. But this isn’t happening the way it was in the first month. May be I should talk to Art about it.

I also need to make the workplace little better than this. I don’t really enjoy the chair./table etc. need to be peaceful. That is like junk. Talk to my manger.

Day 2 :

I chatted with X,Y and Z last night. In all the conversations I didn’t find anything useful for me, however while talking to X, I was feeling why did I call, but I opened up a little felt that we are friends. While talking to Y, I felt confidant, I was showing off a bit, but however Y was definitely benefited. I also noticed that I have really gone out of the loop, with most of the people, surprisingly I don’t find the need also to be in the loop. I also met a very old friend in my company’s reception area. It was a surprise he was there for interview. There was a great change in his personality. I was shocked. I wonder what sort of personality changes has occurred in me? One thing is for sure, I have changed, but I am not able to figure that out. People who love me, are too busy and engrossed in their life to figure this change. In last three years I haven’t’ really got in touch with anyone except miss Q. She also hasn’t seen all of me. Question is, Is it worth it? Or should I just go with the flow.

Talking to Z was most amusing, cause we were having true conversation that was nothing but intellectual masturbation. I could see what he was going thru as I was talking about the car. Do I need this sort of friendship?

Let’s decide now what I need to do.

1. Tasks : Get a handle on “Tax Consultation”
2. Pay the rent, telephone bill.
3. Cancel HBO.
4. Checkup / Medicine.
5. Laundry

Day 3

Yesterday I got my first sev-2. It was a good experience, I once again realized that I have lot to learn and I should be slogging more that I am right now. However the episode also made me think about my job profile.

That apart, I also suffered some pain last night for abt 2 hrs, couldn’t figure out the cause, but nothing seemed to work. It was rough. I am running late today and I hope it won’t matter a lot.

That’s all for today, I listened to Miss Q’s message today and it was really sweet. You know when someone cares for you. But what do you do when you don’t want to be cared by them.

Day X,

This was by far the most wonderful day. I started my day early, I didn’t rush, and I finished lot of work too. I enjoyed it. What I didn’t like is I unnecessarily committed someone at 7, and now I am going home for the same

Well never mind, what about the gym,.

I want to shop for shorts that I can wear at gym

Tue :

Got up early, had a weird dream. I experienced the most hostile customer experience in the dream, it was amazing how our mind make us see the “virtual reality” constructed based on the experiences we get in perceived reality.

I got my desk, made the same choice again, I am glad. That’s all for now, lot of work to do.